Article: Stress under the comforter: does it affect you?

Publié le 25/02/2025

By Marc Dellière

“Does stress really influence your desire without you being aware of it?”

Stress is part of our modern lives, but did you know that it can also have an impact on your intimacy? Decreased desire, erectile dysfunction, pleasure at half-mast... How can you explain this phenomenon and, above all, how can you rediscover a fulfilled sexuality despite the stresses of everyday life?

Is stress the enemy of your libido?

When stress sets in, libido suffers. The body's reactions become slower, and pleasure may seem less intense.

  • For women, chronic stress is a real brake on arousal. It can reduce lubrication and make orgasm harder to achieve. Even if the desire is there, the body doesn't always follow. A young mother recently recounted how, after the birth of her first child, she felt desire for her partner, but her body remained “on standby”. Her mind was preoccupied with everyday preoccupations, a common phenomenon after childbirth.
  • In men, daily pressure can lead to erectile dysfunction and reduced desire. One study revealed that high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) reduce testosterone, which can affect the frequency of sexual intercourse.

A corporate executive recently testified:

“During periods of high pressure at work, I felt so exhausted that the very idea of intercourse seemed like an extra task rather than a moment of pleasure.

Eroticism, a natural antidote

 All is not lost! One study shows that erotic stimuli can reduce stress response. Watching a sensual scene or recalling a pleasurable intimate moment reduces cortisol production and promotes relaxation.

One woman recently confided that, after a stressful day, she read erotic novels to “awaken” her desire. The result? More spontaneous moments, less parasitized by the tensions of the day.

What influences the frequency of intercourse?

Several factors come into play in a couple's intimate life:

  • Age: the frequency of intercourse tends to decrease slightly with age.
  • Lifestyle: shifting working hours reduce intimacy.
  • Physical activity: men who play sport regularly have more intercourse.
  • Mental health: anxiety and depression reduce the frequency of lovemaking.

One couple recounted how, when they were trying to have a child, the pressure of conception stressed them so much that they paradoxically had less intercourse. They had to learn to let go and rediscover their natural complicity.

Rediscovering serene sexuality: 3 essential keys

  • Take time to relax: meditation, sport, a hot bath... all ways to release the pressure.
  • Communicating with your partner: expressing your feelings helps remove many blockages.
  • Call in a professional: a sexologist or therapist can suggest suitable strategies.

Stress doesn't have to be an obstacle to sexual fulfillment.
By learning to manage it and cultivating pleasure, the bedroom can once again become a space for relaxation and complicity. And you, are you ready to do your desire some good? What do you think about it?

Learn more about Lactium for stress management!

Sources:

The Sex and Stress Connection by Jaclyn Smeaton, ND

Chronic stress and sexual function in women
Hamilton LD, et al. J Sex Med. 2013. PMID: 23841462 

Predictors of Sexual Intercourse Frequency Among Couples Trying to Conceive
Gaskins AJ, Sundaram R, Buck Louis GM, Chavarro JE.
J Sex Med. 2018 Apr;15(4):519-528. doi: 10.1016/j.jsxm.2018.02.005. 

Exploring women's postpartum sexuality: social, psychological, relational, and birth-related contextual factors
Hipp LE, Kane Low L, van Anders SM.
J Sex Med. 2012 Sep;9(9):2330-41. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02804.x. 

The effect of a primary sexual reward manipulation on cortisol responses to psychosocial stress in men
Creswell JD, Pacilio LE, Denson TF, Satyshur M.
Psychosom Med. 2013 May;75(4):397-403. doi: 10.1097/PSY.0b013e31828c4524. 

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